


“i love you, Gill Murray, but i still want my jumper back”

by firelordazulas



Category: Scott & Bailey
Genre: F/F, erm so yea, gays, it's like friendship ot3 as well, so this is just fluffy rly like it's pretty much just them fluffing all over the place
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-12
Updated: 2014-10-12
Packaged: 2018-02-20 21:02:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2443061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firelordazulas/pseuds/firelordazulas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You start spending nearly all your time just looking at her, just drinking in the details of her face and hands and clothes and everything that is Her, all the Godzilla and the DCI Murray and the just Gill. Slowly, so slowly you don’t notice until it’s too late, your whole work day has become about making her smile, making her laugh, receiving praise, even just being noticed. You don’t want to admit the obvious.</p>
            </blockquote>





	“i love you, Gill Murray, but i still want my jumper back”

You’re staring at her again, but at least this time you have an excuse. She’s saying some clever things while crouched over a dead body, wearing one of those stupid blue plastic suits that looked ridiculous on anyone but her. Well, okay, they looked ridiculous on Gill too, but she was so cute you found it didn’t really matter. Then again, you’re currently finding the fascinated way she’s looking at that cadaver adorable, which probably says something not very flattering about you.  
Suddenly, everyone’s moving, and you’re left staring down at Gill when she comes to stand in front of you, obviously expecting you to start moving back to your car so you can go back to the office, but you linger a moment, just looking at her. She lets you, an intensity to her face that you can’t place.

You start spending nearly all you time just looking at her, just drinking in the details of her face and hands and clothes and everything that is Her, all the Godzilla and the DCI Murray and the just Gill. Slowly, so slowly you don’t notice until it’s too late, your whole work day has become about making her smile, making her laugh, receiving praise, even just being noticed. You don’t want to admit the obvious.

Janet corners you in the bathroom. “When were you going to tell me you’re in love with Gill?”  
It’s their first day back at work since The Incident, and clearly you gave away a lot more than you were intending during the whole horrifying experience.  
“I, well, I haven’t even admitted it to myself yet.” You scrub a hand through your fringe, kicking at the floor awkwardly. “I’m ignoring it and hoping it’ll go away.”  
She smiles, small and sad. “When Gill gets her hooks into you there’s no coming out the other side.”  
You gape at your colleague, your friend. “You too?”  
“It’s just a friend thing, don’t worry. Considering the way you’ve been eyeing her skirt suits I’m assuming it’s more for you.” Her tone is dry and ironic, and although it’s phrased like a question it clearly isn’t one.  
Laughing, you shake your head. “No, no it isn’t just a friend thing. I’m not honestly that surprised, I was attracted to her the moment we met. She’s just the last of many inappropriate women crushes I’ve had over the years.”  
“But- but you got married?”  
“Sean was nice, and he was there for me. And I got to kiss Gill on the cheek at my wedding.”  
“You really need to sort out your priorities.”

When you start sleeping with Will, you try not to think about the similarities between him and Gill. In position, and bearing, and age, they’re very similar, and when Gill flirts with him you realise just how perfect a relationship between the two of them would be. You also figure out you’re probably just sleeping with him because it’s the closest to her you’re going to get. The truth becomes inescapable when he starts badgering you to tell her about the two of you, to tell everyone about the two of you, but imagining the disappointed look on her face… You know you can’t, know that if it comes down to you being together or Gill finding out you’d break up with him without even blinking. 

When Gill chews you out for sleeping with him, you immediately go on the defensive even though you know she’s right, have known all along from the curling feeling of shame in the pit of your stomach. The disappointment clearly on her face makes it even worse, makes you want to dump him right there in front of her, but you wait until she’s gotten up, given up on changing your mind, and you can escape outside to call him.  
Huddling into your coat to defend against the cold you dial his number, watching your breath curl into mist as it rings. You speak as soon as he picks up. “I can’t do this. We have to break up.”  
“What?”  
“Us. Gill found out, the look she gave me...” The wine you drank earlier is buzzing in your brain. “I can’t do it.”  
“What does it matter what she thinks, we’re not doing anything wrong-”  
“Look, it’s different for you, for a man, you don’t get the same questions. Just, I just can’t anymore.”  
“Rachel, come on, we can talk about this-”  
You huff. “We don’t need to talk about this. Not that it truly matters anyway.” The last bit is a muttered aside.  
“What? Why doesn’t it matter?”  
“Nothing, that didn’t mean anything, okay, I have to go-”  
“No, why doesn’t it matter?”  
You explode, whisper-shouting into the phone, not hearing the door of the pub opening. “I’m in love with someone else, alright? Are you happy now? Is that what you wanted to hear?” Placing a hand over your eyes, you lean heavily against the wall behind you. There is silence from the other end of the line. “I’m sorry. I’ll talk to you later.” With a groan you hang up, pulling out your cigarettes and lighter.  
“Could I steal some of that?” Gill asks from behind you.  
Your eyes widen dramatically as you spin to face her, still instinctively lighting a fag and passing it over. “How much did you hear?”  
“Enough. Who you in love with, then?” Blunt as always, she looks completely relaxed as she takes a pull from the cigarette, passing it to you after.  
You stall for time by taking a long drag, trying to hide the blush you can feel growing on your cheeks behind your hand. “None of your business.”  
Gill gestures impatiently for the cigarette back, eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Fine. Don’t tell me. I’ll just ask Janet.”  
“She won’t tell you. She knows how important it is.”  
“I’m a detective, I’ll figure it out.”  
“I know.” You sigh gustily, praying she doesn’t anytime soon.

She keeps filling your glass up, not letting it get emptier than the halfway mark, and you roll your eyes at her, dramatically pushing the glass out of reach pointedly but she just places her own in front of you instead. The first thing you notice is her lipstick print on the glass.  
Janet sits down opposite you both, her own wineglass in hand. “Giving up on drinking, Rach? It’s about time, considering...” She inclined her head pointedly.  
“Haha, funny. No, Godzilla here is trying to get me drunk so I’ll spill my secrets.”  
“Oooo, which one?”  
“She’s in love with someone,” Gill stated, reaching across the table for your glass, “and I’m determined to find out who.”  
You nudge the glass over so she can reach it, her short arms hindering her success but making Rachel grin widely at how cute she looked. “Seriously, I’m not telling you. And neither’s Janet.”  
“Oh come on, where’s your sense of fun?”  
“This isn’t just some crush and we’re not exactly 15 anymore.”  
“Awh, come on, we can help you ensnare whoever the lad is.”  
“Well, you’re gonna struggle with that, it’s not exactly a ‘lad.’” Janet muttered, rolling her eyes when you glared furiously at her. “Oh come on, not even telling her their gender is a bit of a disadvantage. And she’s still got more than half of the population to work through.”  
Gill gaped for a second. “Well. I wasn’t expecting that.”  
You sighed again, picking up Gill’s wine glass, careful to not ruin the perfect lip print she’d left on the side. “Yeah, yeah, no one ever does. Bi-erasure and everything.”  
“So, do I know her?”  
“This is not turning into 20 questions. It’s already been narrowed down enough, thanks.”  
Gill pouts grumpily, folding her arms over her chest and slouching back in her seat. “C’mon, surely you can give me more than that?”  
“No way. You’re the detective, you work it out.”

Gill’s eyes are constantly following you, analysing your behaviour, watching how you interact with everyone you meet. It’s exhausting, frankly, especially as it means you’re no longer free to watch her like you wish you could. At least she’s probably assumed that she’s completely off the board. You chuckle darkly to yourself about how she’s never going to guess right if she continues to assume that.

You’re stood at a crime, watching them take photos of the latest dead body. It’s raining a bit, so Janet gets an umbrella out of her magic bag (she’s always been that one friend who has tissues, mints, anything you might need in her purse.) Immediately, you steal it, holding it over the both of you, and then Gill’s huddling under there too, the three of you squeezing tight under the tiny canopy. “Could have got a bigger umbrella, Jan.” You mutter.  
“Oh, shh, you should be happy I have one at all.”  
Gill is very obviously shivering against you, her head only reaching your shoulder, so without thinking about it you shrug off your coat, then your jumper. Putting the coat back on, you tug at Gill’s, getting her to take it off, and put your jumper over her head, helping her pull that and then her coat on. She looks adorable, the jumper very obviously too big even with her jacket over it, the sleeves trailing over her palms, and you smile down at her. “Is that better?”  
“Yes, thank you.” Gill’s looking up you like she can’t believe what just happened, even as she pulls the sleeves of your jumper down, curling her hands into covered fists.  
Both her and Janet are staring at you, so you clear your throat and say “So what did this guy die of?”

You’re walking on a cloud of Gill’s perfume when you get your jumper back later that day, humming under your breath and practically bounding around the office, even offering to make everyone tea. Janet spends the rest of the day rolling her eyes and laughing at you, especially as you try and avoid Gill’s eyes while still staring at her.

The three of you are in the pub again, well into a bottle of wine, victorious after your latest murder confession. You go out to smoke, leaning against the side of the building, and aren’t overly surprised when Gill follows you out. Without a word you offer her a drag, which she accepts.  
“Is it Janet?”  
You choke on your lungful of smoke. “What? No, no, never. I love her, of course I do, but not like that. Not in a gay way.”  
“‘Not in a gay way’. Nice.”  
“Quickest way to explain it. I’m going back in.”  
The two of you walk back to the table together, Janet sat waiting for you both. “Have you managed to drag any clues out of her yet?”  
Gill frowned. “She’s being particularly stubborn, but I will find out.”

Suddenly, she looked up like a lightbulb had gone off. “Julie! It’s Julie Dodson!”  
You just gaped but Janet laughed, smirking at Gill. “No, but you’re on the right track. Think person in position of power, skirt suits, etcetera, etcetera.”  
“Okay, that’s my cue to leave.” You hurriedly gathered your things, not even bothering to kiss Janet on the cheek goodbye, panicking and making as quick an exit as humanly possible.

At work, your main mission becomes avoiding any and all contact with Gill, especially while alone. You know that she’ll corner you eventually, that by evading her you’re just giving her more time to think about it, to work out who it is, but you’re panicking, beyond panicking, and it seems like the only possible course of action. By the end of the week, she’s openly staring at you every chance you get, and you’re almost certain that she’s worked it out, that you’re about to get reassigned for being inappropriate or something similar.  
Finally, at the end of the week, Gill manages to corner you in the bathroom. You’re just peacefully washing your hands when she storms in, managing to make you cower against the counter even though she’s so much shorter than you, your wet hands up in the air in the universal ‘don’t shoot’ motion.  
“You’re going to stop avoiding me, and we’re going for drinks tonight.” She’s stood alarmingly close, completely disregarding your personal space.  
“Er,” you clear your throat awkwardly, “yes, er, boss.”  
“Good.” And then she smoothed a hand down the sleeve of your jumper. “Could I borrow this?”  
It’s a question, but also really not, so you dry your hands on your trousers and pull it off, handing it to her, watching as she pulls it on over the shirt she was wearing. It’s large on you, meaning that it’s massive on her, and you watch as she checks the fit in the mirror. God, you’d sell every piece of police information you know and will ever know to see her in your clothes, the way they swamp her and make her already small frame look even tinier. It makes you want to protect the usually fearsome Godzilla, to wrap her up in your duvet and let her have a break from the world, from the bullshit she’s usually surrounded by.  
She smirked at you, all teeth, and left without another word, keeping her perfect posture and scary aura even though she looked slightly ridiculous.

The two of you are the only ones in the office when finally Gill gets up and strolls over to you, still wearing your jumper. She perches, on the end of your desk, as close to your chair as possible, forcing you to look up at her. “So, are you going to tell me?”  
“Well, I’m relatively certain you already know, so...” you frown down at your desk.  
She takes your hand, carefully lacing your fingers together. “It could be rather embarrassing if I’m wrong, that’s all.”  
“Awh, c’mon, you’re DCI Murray, when are you ever wrong?” Gill rolled her eyes as you got quiet and serious, taking a deep breath. “I love you, Gill Murray. But I still want my jumper back.”  
With a shaky laugh, Gill pulled you out of the chair and into a tight hug, fingers clinging to the back of your shirt. “You can’t have it back.” She pulled back, surging up onto her tiptoes to plant a hard, desperate kiss on your lips. “You’ll have to take it off of me.”

**Author's Note:**

> this is dumb but it has ot3-ness and jumper wearing and umbrella sharing so i'm just gonna focus on that. Plus I can now go to bed now so yea I'm calling this a success probably


End file.
